Lessons in
Lifemanship

by

Bryan Bell

- Chapter 9 -

WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS AND HOW
CAN I HELP YOU ACHIEVE THEM?

It has been suggested that every husband and wife, or good friends, or parent to child or child to parent should periodically, say once a year, ask each other, "What are your goals and how can I help you achieve them?"  Some people are a little shocked at the thought; others are somewhat amused.  The usual answer is, "Oh, I know what his/her goals are."  But do you?  You might be surprised if you started exploring the subject in depth.  It might be even more surprising if each spouse sat down and wrote out what he or she thought the other's goals were, and then compared them to what each expressed them to be. achieving ones goal, attaining your goals, obtain your heart's desire, achieve goals for children

Recently I witnessed an illustration as to how wrong people can be about goals.  Fourteen of us were on a retreat considering the goals and plans of a civic organization.  The facilitator suggested an hour for us to consider our statement of purpose, as we had been presenting the same expression of goals for years.  We all thought this could be polished off in a very few minutes.  More than two hours later after an animated and sometimes contentious discussion, we had completely rewritten our statement of purpose, which is a description of our goals.

If that can happen in an organization with a relatively limited purpose, what about the many complications of personal life?  What about: achievement goals?  self-fulfillment goals?  relational goals?  desires for enjoyable activity?  goals for children or other members of the family?  spiritual goals?  A common expression, after such an effort is, "I never knew you felt that way." Obtain Your Goal, Obtaining Happiness, Success, Desire, Self-fulfillment Goals, Pursuing a Happy relationship, Accomplishment of Your Goals

And why limit it to husband and wife?  What about couples who are planning to get married?  What about asking your children the same question?  They would be thrilled.  And what about your boss?  After that surprised individual has been picked up off the floor, you might learn some very interesting things, and have a better relationship.  It is especially important to ask your children (and other young people) this question with regard to a choice of vocation.

My effort has been to indicate to our children that I wanted to be their research person to help them in this.  When he was 7, Bryan came to me and said he wanted to be a lion-tamer.  What would I do for him?  My reply was that I would buy him a whip and a box of Band-Aids.  He went away perfectly satisfied.  The lion-tamer incident indicated he felt he would get support for his future plans.  Since then, I have often discussed goals with Bryan and the other children regarding vocations and similarly important matters.

(At a much later date he called me up and said, "I need a Band-Aid.  It's spelled "m-o-n-e-y.")

Closely related to understanding the more important goals of others is the discernment and recognition of life's ordinary tastes and preferences, especially of those close to us.  Commonly, we think that what we like, what we enjoy, what we believe is important should most certainly apply to others. Achieving Your Goals Attaining Obtain, Obtaining Attain Achieve Goals Accomplish Your Top Goals

Thoughtfulness is not the same as sensitivity.  An example of this involves a woman who planned a gift for her son.  She researched the idea, one that she personally was enthusiastic about, and put in a considerable amount of planning.  She was also prepared to commit a sizable amount of money.  The son rejected the gift, because it involved a trip he did not want to take, with the result that there were hurt feelings on the mother's part, and it was harmful to the relationship.

What the mother did was thoughtful and kind, because it was her earnest desire to please her son and make a contribution to his life, but she was not sensitive or considerate.  If they could have worked together to develop a plan which would have met the approval of both of them, involving a trip he wanted to take and which also would have been beneficial to him, the results would have been different. Meet your Goal, Meeting ones Goals, How to Meet Your Goals

In addition to inquiring about goals, there is another question which can be asked on an appropriate occasion, "What is hurting you?  How can I help?"  The hurt may be physical, emotional, or frequently a problem in relationships.  And maybe the person does need help.

A recommended periodic plan is that of: 1) Inquiring what other people's goals are and helping them to achieve what is important to them, 2) Offering to help with "hurts", and 3) Trying to explore other people's desires with regard to likes and dislikes in the more ordinary matters of life.

achievement achieving goals attaining obtain, obtaining relationship, attain relational achieve goals for children, family acquire, accomplish, accomplishment attain happiness, obtain self-fulfillment, desire for enjoyable activities success, succeed, desires spiritual activity
Chapter 8Chapter 8 Home Chapter 10Chapter 10
Chapters
1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22
23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41
Contents Table of
Contents
Acknowledgments Top Top
Lessons in Lifemanship - IndexIndex
The author would be most grateful
for your responses and comments.
About the author
About the Author

Permission is given to reproduce any or all parts of this book.
The author's wish is to share this with others
with the hope that it will be of help to as many people as possible.

Don't forget to bookmark this page!
Click 'Bookmarks', then 'Add Bookmark'
to bookmark this page.

If you would like a printed copy of this chapter, just click on the "Print this page" icon or your browser's "Print" button.  To print the entire book, just view each chapter in sequence and print it.

Links Webmasters,
If you like this site,
please link to it.
The author would really appreciate it!
If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Lessons in Lifemanship

If you like this book, you will also enjoy

An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army
by Bryan Bell

relationships, dependence, concern, benefit, life, living, Lifemanship, Experiences, Determination,  mutual dependence helpful advice
This site is best viewed with Netscape Communicator.
Download Netscape Now!   Download Netscape nowOrder Netscape on CD-ROM
Download Netscape Now!  or  Order Netscape on CD-ROM!
Be notified of page updates
it's private
powered by
ChangeDetection
Top 50 Christian Sites
Vote for this site!
Ultimate Top 50
Please Rate My Site:
Top 100 Great Christian Sites
Click here to vote for this page as a Starting Point Hot Site.
Click here to vote for this page as a pMonkey.com Hot Site.

relationships, concern, benefit, life, living, Lifemanship, Experiences, Determination,  mutual dependence

Labeled with ICRA
This website is protected by Wpoison  (Link for robots)
NetMechanicNetMechanic: Power Tools for Your Web Site

Family relationships, Childrearing, Parenting, children, parents Acknowledgement, acknowledgment Active listening two-way communication with children Bryan Bell, author Asking for good advice and help Lessons in Lifemanship awards Bryan Bell, Lessons in Lifemanship wise principles Improving board and committee meetings Psychology, self-help, motivation Avoid problems in family inheritance caused by sibling rivalries, greed, spouses and lawyers. Heir, heirship, taxes, tax, inheritance, estate, death, will, probate court Avoid controversies, solve personal and family problems Choose your battleground Solve problems, disputes and disagreements through mediation. Evaluating job applicants choosing volunteer and non-profit service Opportunities for serving on a board, non-profit service Improve relationship between parents and children Improving relationships with parents and children How to improve employee relationships! How to Improve Family Relationships Choose a vocation based on job market, ability, interests and temperament; avoid mistakes looking for a job; find satisfaction and enjoyment in your chosen vocation. The art of listening, how to listen more effectively! Listening more effectively! Relationships, family, children, self-improvement Improving personal relationships Popular psychology, self-help, self-improvement Improve family relationships Relationships and how to improve them Relationships in your family Improving relationships Relationships with children Sharing Success: succeeds, sucess, succeeding, successful, sucessful, win, winning, winners Guidance choosing vocations, job directions, vocational directions An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army Memoirs of a soldier in World War II An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army An Infantry Platoon Leader in Patton's Army Bryan-Bell Bryan Bell enterpreneurship family disputes find a job info get a job info good job info good jobs good employees inheritance job hunting Lessons in Lifemanship Lessons in Lifemanship Lessons in Lifemanship resolve conflicts resolve disputes resolving conflicts resolving disputes Sam Hills, computer consultant CASS Certification saves postage Put your church on the World Wide Web Free stuff, freebies Interesting links bargains, deals Office supplies and computers Publish your book on the World Wide Web Sam Hills, computer consultant Legal disclaimer free money free money for me Saving postage with CASS Certification CASS Certification to reduce postage rates Piano lessons by Victoria Hills - First piano lesson free!
Web page design by Sam Hills  e-mail:
Tuesday, 19-Aug-2008 04:49:36 MST